一个人

今天，自己一人在学校外等姐姐，之前还下了场雨，幸好下得不大。望上天空，突然自己对自己开了个蛮无聊的玩笑 。 其实天空是会旋转的，只要自己在原地自转 真实废话一番！ 过后一个人在徘徊于四周，也开始想了一些东西，疑问？ 什么才算是好人？ 善良就好人? 帮助人就是好人？ 但我却觉得很笨？。 。不懂。。从来不拒绝任何人对我的疑问，想尽脑都会找出解决的方法。可是自己？ 很少能为自己克服所面对的一切难处 我想我还是有点依赖？ 不懂。。 等了一阵，姐姐还没来。 这时我终于静静坐下，继续眺望远处。 课业。。童军。。体育。。还有其他芝麻绿豆的小事 突然通通涌了上来 原来自己对自己的管理还是那么的不妥当 都多少岁了？ 今年那么关键不过还那么不成熟。 不知道是不是被昨晚的情绪影响 今天一整天情绪还是有稍稍低落 没事没事。。。 看见姐姐车了 终于可以回家 原来一个人其实也能很好 不受任何人事物的牵扯 多自在 虽然一个人时会显得孤单 寂寞 不过至少还有回忆陪伴着 我知道 一个人不是好的抉择 但也可以是可忍受的选择 做回自己

Lost

Sometimes I'm so fucked up with myself. There's no one or anything happens to interrupt me, but I will just naturally lose my temptation in doing something . This is serious matter, especially when it happens during this time. Why on earth I just can't stay focused , trigger internal will power to complete something instead of allowing my emotion to control against everything? Fail , Fail, Fail ! Fucked up , this severely fucked up !

February

Time flies as how it supposed to be. February began, countdown for SPM once again wakes people up from dizziness, stay awake and spirited. Lately got to know with a new friend, or perhaps more appropriate called as junior. What a surprise, even it has come to the last year but still able to know someone new , unbelievable yeah? lol Last week attended the audition of English Debate , goshh...I wasn't speaking what I supposed to have spoken. Points all running out from mind once I stepped in front , so tensed ? haha . In fact I just wanna spend my last year in the school wiser , get more possibilities to involve in activities which I have never thought I would be joining in , I need to keep discovering within myself throughout the year, what's suitable for me and what ain't. At least, it could be an alternative way to help in making decision after graduating, right? It is most common for everyone to go ahead with own dream , but how if I don't have one? Or maybe there's a direction you are looking forward to ? Honestly, I have the entire enthusiasm , passion and eagerness in only one thing -- Badminton. It all started since I was a kid, watching the players in tv for the first time and instantly got aspired. Anyway, that will no longer be a realistic thinking , I'm old enough , any opportunities that I ever had in realising my dream , I assumed, no more left . Nevermind...it doesn't matter anymore now, I accepted the truth even though it was heart-breaking. I know, a heartening smile to myself is the best cure from a frustration ,there will be better ways to go.. so true... I can't believe I said this lol. So...end this post right here. February, my month.. lets have a blast ! =)