~Day-dreaming ~

Teachers urge me to study non-stop as if the water flowing without cease if I wanted to get improved . Parents wish I could learn everything and master to apply in life to be a useful human-being. I crave for a fabulous presentation of myself and emerge as an outstanding person , sounds like day-dreaming , so ironically... In fact, there's still room of improvement . Who on earth doesn't want to be all-rounded, perfect ? One day if I became one , people would look up to me , it feels so honorable even when the P.Minister gives me the highest-esteem when one day we meet . HAHA....xD what m I thinking huh ...

Sa.Rang.Hae

Lately i was kinda influenced by Korean Dramas . Although each of them almost with same story line which is all about Love stories, Families, Companies, and so on. However the feelings and thoughts brought out are always the different in each different drama . This is why I'm so obsessed . Saranghae...means I love you. Saranghae....

Some people.

I made up friendships with people in all walks of life . In school, my friends comprised of both high-class and middle-class . Although I wasn't actually recognize and and mix myself with the society , I had seen enough of different personalities of people around me so far. How those girls can chit-chat merrily in a gang but turned out to backstab each other ; how those guys can be so kind and generous to treat their 'cup of tea' and totally changed when treating another, they were all in my eyes. But for the most irritating and enraging is people who take your kindness as granted. Just because I have been offering helps to you too frequent, and everytime I could afford to fetch you here and there, it was because I wanted to give out all I could give when treating friends. It was not merely once or twice I had brought troubles to my parents in helping you or others, did you know the story behind this? Luckily...my parents were kind enough . They took all these as practising hospitality throughout their life I guess. However, when I couldn't afford my help once, you complaint . You even tried to spread to the public , I'm sorry if I misunderstood you but anyway, even it wasn't on a purpose, but your statement triggered my anger. It's like you have used to it where I could always help you, I would always be the one to rely on. I feel like I'm being utilized by you, all the time. Perhaps you will think I'm too sensitive to that or making up a mountain out of a molehill , but please... try to walk into my shoe, care about my feeling. Words can verbally and literally hurt someone .

心酸。心淡。

回想起昔日大家仍然是好朋友的时候，自己竟然情不自禁地在心里流泪。其实如今的我们并没有转变成敌人，或是势不两立等等，只是感情随着时间流逝，在岁月穿梭中一同变得越来越淡。当感情淡了，沟通也减少了，沟通少了，交流毫无犹豫也少了许多。但很讽刺的，我们见面的次数竟然刚好唱反调，有增无减，多可笑。 我总是为我们保留有最后一丝希望，坚信只要有朝一日我先开口挽回大家之间的感情，那我们必定会回到过去。很不幸的，原来这都是自己一厢情愿，过去已过去，无论再多么乐观，回到过去永远都只是句安慰的话，所谓往者不可谏。其实深入想，到底那隐隐约约存在的问题是怎么样的一个问题？我实在看不清。或许那只是我们小事化大？ 还是那问题根本不曾存在，或是虚饰的？ 不晓得...让它永远是个问号，不该执着地去揭开，什么都不懂，让自己变得愚味也能是一个上上计吧。。。今晚的夜色看似比任何时候都更黑暗，更沉默，更郁闷...所有事物都那么千篇一律. 也许当心里生病，看的东西也不怎么觉得特别。。

Alone

Tonight is a particular night , perhaps for me it's enough to call as a memorable night. As usual, I went playing badminton , afterwards I called my sister and unsurprisingly she asked me to wait for an hour , she had never come fetching by the time I called her , it's okay . So I sat on the bench in the mall (Selayang Mall) , without doing anything I was staring at all directions . Well , I decided to wait outside as it was quite windy there. While standing alone..I felt I wasn't use to this circumstance. What I mean is, I have to wait alone , unlike those times when I would be waiting together with a friend , at least he is my only companion . The reason for me to stand in solitude is because the two good buddies who are my most frequent companion are currently not around , both travelling abroad . Shy and coy but I have to admit that tonight I do miss them very badly. I started to figure further , how am I going to adapt to loneliness in future , when they would probably not by my side anymore. Even if they could, it would not be so often , or perhaps there are different people appear to become the replacement of them . Sigh, I was really sentimental tonight , all negative thoughts came to my mind and they are reminding me that , I will have to grow up to confront with problems and challenges myself . Friends ain't my guardian angle , no matter how much I pray they would be. I wonder , I doubt, I question myself .. ' DO YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO BRAVE THE REALITY , WHICH IS BEING DONE ALONE ? " there's not even an answer I wish I could give...

Procrastinate

I should have done this earlier . Currently still in progress. Ridiculous, I always love to do things later. A habit that's firmly ingrained , when could I get rid of it .

Departure

Right in the next morning another friend's gonna leave for Perth,Australia. There are a lot of people leaving off here to overseas this year, no one's willing to wait for the arrival of so-called '2012' in own motherland ? Funny ~ Well， I was thinking to go to his home tonight to see him packing up ,I always knew he will be doing things at the eleventh hour, I understand him too much ~ He will be leaving for 2 months long, I'm somehow wondering would he get used to the life there and begin to plan for migration in future ? It would be fantastic , really . In fact, myself as well going to board my flight alone to meet my sister in Melbourne in the earlier December, teeheeee =D ~ You know, to experience life abroad sounds interesting and exciting , even if it wasn't, at least it will still bring freshness to me as I've lived my life 15 years in my own land. Hopefully everyone could have a meaningful and memorable trip, we are humans and we should take all the opportunities to enjoy life to the fullest, travelling to overseas is always the dream to everyone, for those who are departing soon, wish you a safe departure and stay alert all the way up , enjoy !!! For those who's sitting at home for the remaining holidays, thanks for becoming the guardians of the Motherland and happy holiday too ! :)

God, are you with us?

Went to school today to get back some exam papers. Yea I did get back not only mine but also help keeping for few of them, who considered as close-friends . I went through their papers after homed, for one or two , there is apparent improvement, although not the greatest ever , at least improved . As a friend, a classmate who has been through the whole year together with every single one of them, I'm actually quite proud. Don't compare them to the better ones, cause one's performance can't be assessed from how much they scored in exams, instead you should take note at the whole progress. The time when they started to put their effort in studies, how serious they had been , they were not acting frivolously , they were really full of intention to improve and score well in the exams. In fact, who on earth doesn't hope to obtain higher score ? However, perhaps after seeing their marks, you doubt how much they had actually given out? All? Half? Or just a little . Hey, you gotta be clear once more, they are humans . You should not expect enormous and rapid improvement from them . So far, they did their best and achieve this level, and you have to know they would be at higher level next time . Perhaps they are still lacking the confidence , yet they are already good enough. I'm sincerely wishing they will not be switched or even dropped from the class. Teachers keep on reminding us about the class shuffle which is like giving us pressure, threatening us . I wanted to tell the teachers, " Don't randomly switch anyone of us until you are very sure with your decision , please think twice, please. "

Avengers

Care your own words when you talk .Care your attitude when you react .All you do , whether on a purpose or doesnt. They might be enough to bring you into real trouble, I mean not sort of minor one ,it's really BIG TROUBLE. Please Behave, do remember !

Sacred Book?

I read through every page in that very particular note book.It has been passing to every 'temporary-owner' for ages , and till now the passing to the younger owners is still ongoing, I'm the book owner for this time. Feel much clearer on how to shoulder my responsibility after reading it. It's like a 'secret recipe' , to be successful you are required to implement every procedure and fulfill every prerequisite which has stated in the contents. To improve further more, your own ideas and methods should be applied together. Of course the time given lasts for one year , from the fact it seems like it's likely improbable to have done all the planning within this period. Anyway I'll give it a try , it deserves me to try even if I failed it doesn't cost me much. Thanks God, this book will be my guidance . Thanks !

Feeling

I slept at almost two o'clock yesterday , even I was so exhausted after coming back from the tournament. I lost in the second round and it was not challenging at all actually, yet I still suffered a loss. Nevermind ,I knew I wasn't as skillful as the opponent, I didn't manage to play my game and control the rhythm during the match. No disappointment, no frustration, no upset. I wonder why? This is so different from the past , when I would always recalling the match I lost for several nights, the screen of losing every point would just appear over and over again in my mind , to let this bygone be bygone is such a huge obstacle for me. However, it didn't happen on yesterday night. I slept well. Nothing came to interrupt my sleeping .It was a peace night. Haha...I guess I have really grown up , matured. Knowing very clear that what is worth and doesn't worth me for thinking it. Although still couldn't say to be optimistic towards everything, at least I know how to forget and erase the unwanted memory . I'm pretty sure I'm improving :)

KL open tournament.

Today is the day, my fourth tournament in life. I'm going to train station later at 11 to the venue, it's my second experience for this so I guess there might have no big problem . I don't feel tensed , but I couldn't stop thinking the face of my opponent, so ridiculous that I even searched him on Facebook , but turned out to be unfounded. Haha...as everyone knows, I love playing competitions. Competing is part of my principle and motivation to live better in life. In my opinion, competing can grow myself up physically and mentally. Of course I have to explain that my competing with others is heed to the positive side. I'm not competing property, reputation, relation. What I wanted to compete in is the results, anything that would bring out a result. So the tournament is definitely included.By the way, I received a few encouragements this morning. I'm sure this undoubtedly will help to push me further more during the match. This sounds like going into a decider in life, whether I'm able to survive or don't , cause it means a lot to me. No matter what, I promise and swear I'll show great fighting spirit and give out all strength in the game, lets see.